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Now, I needed to do this.
Description: No one can say Dr.
Coming out to them was one of the most nerve-wrecking things I've ever done. They're from the Philippines, very religious, and openly repeated our church's anti-gay rhetoric throughout my adolescence. I was terrified they'd cut me out of their lives. But I didn't want to live a life where my parents never really knew who their son was. So, I took the risk. I came out to them in a speech during my college graduation dramatic, I know.
Our conversations rarely erupt into shouting matches anymore. We're able to acknowledge and have very difficult discussions about me being gay. Huge improvement from previously sweeping it under a velvet rug, a classic Catholic tradition. I asked them two months ahead to give them plenty of time to think about it.
My dad said, "That's fine with me," while my mom took her time with it. This surprised me. When I first told them I was gay, Dad was the stubborn one and Mom was my advocate. But when I told her I was dating someone last year, she shied away from talking about it. It felt like me having a boyfriend made it real for her, and she wasn't ready to accept it.
The learning curve of acceptance has been steep for my parents, yet they've made a lot of effort. And my dad doesn't tell me I'm a sinner to my face anymore! I've also done a lot of growing too. Self-reflection, therapy, and writing helped me confront from my intimacy issues and the instinct to compartmentalize my life — it took me a year to finally tell my closest friends I was dating someone. What if they ignored him?
Or slipped in anti-gay remarks to his face? The thought of that potential embarrassment filled me with dread. My phone calls with my mom didn't help put me at ease. Every time I called her in the days leading up to Christmas, I worried for her. Taking care of Dad, my older sibling, and the house, all while still working, was taking its toll on her.
But there was no turning back, and I just wanted to help my parents have a vacation where they could actually relax. I even called my mom the night before we were supposed to meet them in Las Vegas , low-key hoping my parents would retract their invitation. That way, we'd all be spared. Yes, they were on sale. I wondered if the store associates could tell that my Hollister trench coat, which I felt like a badass in, was is fact, not real wool.
I waved hello to them, and saw my mom and uncle on the couch. She smiled at us.