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You will learn new terminology — Craigslist is like a crash course in gay code — as well as notice a very curious trend about the state of at least 80 percent of the under population who has resorted to posting and posing their lust on the Internet. They would probably be more shocked if I listed their actual names. The truth is I exploit a weakness in our cultural logic. And, of course, I choose my targets well.

And yet, people still think I turn straight guys. So I will say it now: I am only turning closeted bisexuals and closeted gay men. I cannot speak about lesbians and I would rather be silent than wrong. But let us acknowledge this particular phenomenon, and examine the reasons, the means and the tools involved in maintaining the Closet Case.

Still that decision often has great consequences. For those gay men who prefer the shooting range to Forever 21, this sacrifice can be too great. Our gendered society has coupled the preference to have sex with women with strength, stoicism and the multitude of traits associated with masculinity. Neglecting these traits then is the only way to make your homosexuality palatable to the masculine hierarchs.

Those considering coming out must consciously acknowledge that they will never have access to the picture-perfect, Disney-portrayed relationships that pop culture views as perfect. You will never have nor be the prince and princess according to that cultural narrative. So instead you face the unknown of constructing a relationship — a balanced, happy relationship — from imagination, trial-and-error and prayer.

For masculine gays who are attracted to masculinity, they have no reference. In coming out they must admit to themselves that they cannot use basic relationship models to help them in their life. And because our society is obsessed with sexual orientation classes, this choice is typically irreversible. My sister, for reference, is one of the most compassionate and liberal people I know. The corruption is deep — many do not have the prejudice, but many more do — and our strict system of sexuality forces those who want access to their same-sex desires to take on all the prejudices in their simple choice to be honest.

The casual sex dominant in I. Yes, right, your heterosexual friend must get drunk to lower his standards, to make kissing the notoriously gorgeous women of Santa Barbara stomachable. The ones who are closeted can produce convincing illusions because they can simply drug their souls into oblivion and then play the part.

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After 19 beers, most people would have sex with a curvaceous oak tree, and yet since drunken sex is normalized in I. By exploiting sexual fluidity and neglecting emotional desires entirely, the closet cases are in an ideal position to continue positioning themselves above women. But, you know what?

Fuck that. Every day, I wonder if I could have done something different — crafted the right words to uplift the fearful — and become their shelter, and they mine. And every day, I maintain this vague hope that I can do better the next time I meet someone who is so deeply alone.

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The forces caging them are bigger than me. They are greater than any queer activist group.